- Paper towel and wrappers are NOT recyclable.
- Plastic, glass, and aluminum ARE recyclable.
- I’m sure you haven’t noticed, but the stove is caked with grease, and it’s mostly your fault. Wipe it down after you cook your bacon and sausage, just like I do after I’m done cooking vegetables and soup.
- Nail clippers should only be used in the bathroom.
- There is no reason the TV should be audible in every room of the apartment.
- Lately, you’ve been spending like 30 minutes taking shits. Stop eating so much processed food and meat. I need to use the bathroom too!
- I know it smells horrifyingly bad, but stop using so much air freshener. It makes the whole apartment reek for hours.
- Stop closing the door after you’re done. We don’t have a fan in the bathroom, and you’re trapping in all the nasty smells. Air that shit out. I prefer to do my makeup in the bathroom, but thanks to you I can’t.
- Empty my vacuum after you’re done using it. It’s bagless, so you can see just as well as I can that it’s full.
- Stop vacuuming the edge of the carpet. All the extra strings get caught up underneath.
- Drinking 3+ beers almost every night by yourself is a sign of borderline alcoholism.
- Why don’t you share your weed with me?
- If I don’t hear you come in, I always know your home when my internet slows way down. Your TV and video games are sucking away my bandwidth.
- You now owe me for two months worth of electrical bills, totaling $30.
- You still owe me $250 of the deposit.
- Give me my money.