Oh Menver

Things law students wish you would stop saying:

1. “What made you want to go to law school?” or “Why do you want to be a lawyer?”
   95% of people who find out I’m in law school will ask this. I am so fucking sick of it. On the surface, it might seem like a harmless attempt to try to get to know me better, and while 5% of the time it is, 95% of the time it’s a nice way to say, Oh my God, you’re going to be a lawyer? Why would you want to be someone that 1. is a greedy horrible monster, 2. everyone hates, 3. is overworked, or 4. hates their life?
   Do you ask nurses why they became nurses? engineers? photographers? managers? Probably not. 
   It’s annoying. It’s a hard question to answer, and rather existential. Like any profession, there’s a lot of reasons why someone becomes a lawyer. For most people, it’s probably a natural choice based on their skills and interests. That’s what it was for me. There wasn’t anything else I could imagine doing. It felt right.
2. Anything implying that I will be rich once I’m a lawyer. 
   These statements are rude, offensive, awkward, and make you sound like an ignorant ass. 
   It is so rude to discuss other people’s finances.
   Also, you sound like an idiot. You’re pretty much telling me that the only thing you know about lawyers is what you see on TV. Most lawyers are not incredibly wealthy. Today, most law students graduate with over $100k in debt and start out making around $70k.
   It’s also offensive. Rich lawyers are the exception and not the rule. Whether intentionally or not, these “you’re going to be rich” statements are accompanied by “you’re selling your soul.” Being a lawyer doesn’t mean I’m going to be in-house counsel for Wells Fargo or BP. 
   You’re also implying I chose this profession for the money. There are way easier ways to get rich than spending three prime years of my life pent up in a library, enduring anxiety attacks, never seeing my friends, and taking out $30k in loans each year.
3. “I need some legal advice.”
   I can’t really do this for a few reasons. 1. There’s not much I can say before I owe a legal duty to you. 2. I’m a student, I don’t know enough.
   Also, please note that once I am a lawyer, I won’t be able to help you either, even if by some chance I work in the same area of law that governs your problem.
   Why not? Well, no legal question has a simple answer, and I don’t work for free. I provide a service. Just because it isn’t tangible, doesn’t mean I’m not giving you anything.
   But I’m your friend! Can’t you do me a favor? In order to answer your question, I’ll probably have to do research, which isn’t free or cheap. Check out Lexis or WestLaw’s pricing guides if you don’t believe me.
4. “Did you read that article in the New York Times?”
   Yes, I fucking read it. I’ve read every article about the costs of law school and the saturated market. I either found them during one of my anxiety attacks, or a relative sent them to me. 
   Please don’t ask me this because I am ready and willing to dispel all your assumptions and fears, and this party is not the place to have that conversation. Also, why are you getting so personal? I don’t even know what you do yet! 
5. “I hate lawyers.” 
   Fuck you. How many lawyers do you even know? Probably none. 
   No, I’ve been to court! I was in a lawsuit once!  
   Oh hey, guess the fuck what? For every prosecutor or plaintiff, there’s also a defense. So when you were in court for your DUI, there was someone representing you. 
   Guess what else? It’s still up to a judge or jury to decide the case. Lawyers aren’t magicians. If you’re guilty/liable, you’re probably not going to win. 
   AND FINALLY… If you had a shitty lawyer, he/she can be sued for malpractice and can also be disbarred. That’s right! Just like doctors, lawyers can lose their jobs if they suck.
   Without lawyers, there would be no justice and the person who knows the law better would probably always win.
   But lawyers charge so much money! They’re greedy!
   Doctors are expensive too, when you don’t have health insurance.
   If law school didn’t cost around $100k, maybe lawyers could charge less.  

I implore you to take these to heart and STFU.

Why I love Spring (especially in Colorado)

• It’s starting to stay light out later at night
• Sleeping with all the windows open
• Bike rides
• 60 and 70 degree days
• Tank tops, dresses, skirts, sunglasses
• Iced tea, smoothies, lemonade
• Freckles, sunburns, tans, highlights
• Fresh fruit
• Cold food
• Wearing pastels and bright colors
• Playing at the park
• Not being cold… so you can run around or ride your bike late at night and not have to drive
• Lacrosse
• Hockey
• Flowers
• Hikes in the mountains
• Picnics
• Yard sales
• The smell of Denver early in the morning and late at night
• Boys: on bikes, wearing tank tops and cutoffs, tanned and freckled, shirtless 
• The first trip to the pool
• The promise of summer

some things about guys that give me butterflies

• blue eyes
• chivalry 
• singing to me
• tattoos
• making me food
• strong arms
• kissing my forehead
• curiosity
• showing me things you made
• a sexy bike
• a goofy smile
• holding my hand
• kissing my freckles
• bedroom eyes
• fixing things for me
• hugs
• surprises 
• that look… every guy has one
• reading books
• PDA
• being a guy who likes that I’m girly 
• killing spiders for me, being my hero and not rolling your eyes
• dirty texts
• when you laugh
• when you’re excited
• reading me your favorite stories
• when you pick me up and I remember how much bigger and stronger you are
• trying things I like
• wanting me to try things you like
• asking me questions
• when kids, grandmas, and animals like you
• getting dressed up
• talent
• telling me secrets
• when you’re happy

things people say when I ask them to stop using an offensive word/phrase:

(ex. fag, retard, what a pussy, that’s gay…)

• How is that offensive?
• Fine, I won’t say it around you.
• You embarrassed me.
• It’s rude to correct people.
• You’re such a liberal.
• I didn’t think you’d care.
• Why do you care? You’re not a ___.
• Nobody here is a ___.
• I don’t say it around ___ people.
• What are you, the PC Police?
• Sorry, I grew up around it, I can’t help it.

things I will never do and probably never do:

• Take my husband’s last name.
• Hard drugs.
• Live in the Midwest again.
• Be rich.
• Eat meat.
• Let my father-or anyone-walk me down the aisle. 
• Get sick of seeing the Rocky Mountains every day.
• Fall in love with a Republican.

Probably Never (90-99% certain):

• Be pregnant.
• Visit China.
• Be debt-free.
• Enjoy doggie style.
• Raise children in the United States.
• Feel that my parents are proud of me… or just as proud as they are of my siblings.
• Play a video game ever again for the rest of my life.
• Have a joint bank account.

lately…

1. It’s nice when I hear from my exes’ friends. It’s nice to know they still like me. They were cool people to lose in the ‘divorce’ and it’s sad to not have them around.
2. I’m filing a lawsuit in small claims court against my ex-landlord. She never returned my deposit or gave me a list of deductions, and has totally ignored all my communications. So I’m filling out this paperwork and I don’t really know what I’m doing… Message me if you want to help!
3. I have a new crush. Unfortunately I met him via Tumblr (my intentions were friend zone!) so you can blame him if my posts start getting boring. Two reasons: 1) I can’t post anything juicy about him if he’s reading it. 2) So far at least, there isn’t anything good to write because he’s a sweetheart. He doesn’t say anything stupid. He’s thoughtful. He’s smart. He’s nice. He’s a good kisser. And I like his dog.
4. I really want to do a detox. Just like a couple days or something. Any suggestions? 
5. I wrote out that apology to T, but I haven’t sent it. I’m scared and feel dumb. Maybe because he was the one that broke up with me… but then I remind myself that I would’ve broken up with me too.