It’s really hard to have sex when you can hear a toddler crying above you.
Anonymous asked: You look hot in your Lawyer picture. You face and hair look hotttt. I'd just Take in your jacket a bit. Just because it's a professional attire doesn't mean it can't Be tailored to show off your figure.
Thanks… The jacket actually fits great, but when it’s unbuttoned, it just hangs off my big boobies and my waist disappears.
Quick: Tell Me Everything I Need To Know About Miami
Yesterday I decided to broaden my job search and applied for a lawyer job in Miami. This morning I woke up with an interview! Doing it via Skype on Monday, sadly I don’t get to visit in person.
I’ve been to Florida a bunch of times, but never been to Miami, so I gotta learn as much as I can to not sound like an idiot.
After spending a week in Puerto Rico a couple weeks ago, I think I need to move to a tropical climate.
We had to get pictures done at school… This shit is going to be on the wall at school forever.
I’m sad and whining to tumblr because John won’t listen… Why didn’t I button my jacket? My boobs make me look fat. The background is the same color as my suit. The background makes my grey suit look beige. Why is my sleeve so wrinkly? I have twig arms and they look huge in this picture. My hair color looks crazy. I feel ugly. My eyes are squinty and one looks smaller than the other. My smile is super fake.
Thank you for listening. Wah. Stupid lawyer costumes.
View from my bed of homeboy cookin me dinner. After a week in PR (the real V-Day gift!) and two days catching up on work, this is perfect ❤️
I’ve worked out every day this month, except the past 1 or 2 days. I really meant to work out today, but my uterus is at war with my body and I got 5 hours of sleep last night.
Someone tell me it’s ok to take a nap instead.
My new fav product—not just for making waves. My flat Colorado hair feels like I’m back near salt water and humidity. It’s the only styling product I used today, before not styling. #loreal #saltwater
This accidental lake makes me feel less landlocked. 64 degrees doesn’t hurt either ☀️ #denver #sloanslake #colorado (at Sloan’s Lake)
arborescent said: WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP ARE YOU ENGAGED hOW DID I MISS THIS
Whoops I shoulda made that more clear— I am NOT engaged! haha there would DEFS be a post about that!!! I’m just getting this wedding stuff in the mail. No idea why or how. Creepy.
And some of our friends treat us like we’re basically engaged. Asking when the wedding date is, calling me crazy things like Mrs. John _____.
So the girl blowing up Facebook with her engagement from three weeks ago has taken some time out of photographic her basic ring to be a stupid jerk to me.
Backstory: The other day I was complaining on fb how someone called me “the future Mrs. John [his last name]” and how last time I checked, marriage isn’t going to nullify my identity. I have a first name too! And I’m not changing my last name. It bugs me when people presume a woman is going to change her name when she gets married. It’s not like your name automatically changes at your wedding. It’s a choice, and a process done after (usually, it doesn’t matter to the govt when you do it or why).
Also it’s super weird to call one spouse by the other spouse’s first name. I’m not John. This isn’t 1900.
Today I posted a pic about all the random wedding vendor shit I’ve been getting in the mail for reasons I don’t know. She comments, “For someone who doesn’t want to lose their identity in a man…”
HOLD THE FUCK UP
I’m all for marriage. I’m totally against partaking in patriarchal traditions. I’m not property. I’m not being given away. I’m not a virgin. I’m not a princess. It’s not my day. I’m not becoming the “& Mrs.” attached to my husband’s name.
She’s bitching on Facebook about women telling other women what to do with their lives (marriage, kids, names) blah blah blah. IDGAF what women choose to do with their lives, all I said was I don’t want people to assume a woman will change her name (or for that matter, want to get married or have kids). Stereotypes suck.
OMG on Parks & Rec right now Ben and Leslie are getting married and Ben’s acting like he wants Leslie to change her name and be called Mrs. Ben Wyatt. BAAAAAH I love this show.
Landlord’s realtor is coming to look at the house tomorrow
What does this mean?!?
Besides having to clean while sick in bed and their screaming child upstairs giving me a worse headache.